How I Fight Depression

Happiness

Leisure Time

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.

He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth.

He tries this a few more times with no success.

All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yells to her husband, “You need a piece of tail.”

The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,

“Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite…”

Birthdays Are Fun!

A Kentucky State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.

Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.

The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer?'

The trooper asks: 'What are you doing?'

The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine.'

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says: 'And her, what is she doing?'

The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.'

Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane ... And nothing obscene is happening!

The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man?'

The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'

The trooper asks: 'And her .... what's her age?'

The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll be 18 in exactly 11 minutes.. '

Owned Pt. 4

Owned Pt. 3

Owned Pt. 2

Owned

Aromatherapy

Sometimes, This olelongrooffan Can't Think Of A Title

Sometimes This olelongrooffan Feels This Way

Potentially Or Realistically

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad , what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically ?”

The father thought for a moment, then answered, “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.”

So the boy went to his mother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?”

The mother replied, “Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!”

The boy then went to his sister and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?”
The girl replied, “Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt, I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?”

The boy then went to his brother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?”

“Of course,' the brother replied. “Do you know what a million bucks would buy?”

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, “Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically' ?”

The boy replied, “Yes, 'Potentially' , you and I are sitting on three million dollars . But 'Realistically' , we're just living with two hookers and a queer.”

Dating in 1961

thanks Jonco

For The Guys Reading This Blog (NSFK)

At War

Tony's My Buddy

Bartender, I'll Have A Beer

Another Medical Breakthrough

Good For You, Fatty.

Catch You Next Week Then

Floor Tiles