Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Monday, July 19, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
A Serious Accident
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says,"You must decide how many inches you want.
I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed.
"It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite countertops."
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says,"You must decide how many inches you want.
I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed.
"It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite countertops."
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Let's Go To Vegas
A man goes out golfing.
He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to The green.
He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.
Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club
away, and grabs a 9 iron.
Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog,
"Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, heh?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.
"What do you think frog?" the man asks.
"Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom!
Hole in one.
The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say.
By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog,
"OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas."
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says,
"OK frog, now what?"
The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."
Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks,
"What do you think I Should bet?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.
Boom!
Tons of cash comes sliding back across The table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.
He sits the frog down and says,
"Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."
The frog replies,
"Ribbit Kiss Me."
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it.
With a kiss, the frog turns into a Gorgeous girl.
"And that is how the girl ended up in My room Elin. So help me God or my name is not Tiger Woods."
He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to The green.
He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.
Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club
away, and grabs a 9 iron.
Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog,
"Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, heh?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.
"What do you think frog?" the man asks.
"Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom!
Hole in one.
The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say.
By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog,
"OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas."
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says,
"OK frog, now what?"
The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."
Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks,
"What do you think I Should bet?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.
Boom!
Tons of cash comes sliding back across The table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.
He sits the frog down and says,
"Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."
The frog replies,
"Ribbit Kiss Me."
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it.
With a kiss, the frog turns into a Gorgeous girl.
"And that is how the girl ended up in My room Elin. So help me God or my name is not Tiger Woods."
Friday, January 15, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
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