Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I Am So Sorry
but I think this video explains this. Sorry about the audio, but just look at the title and you will understand.
My Dad and His Generation
are spinning in their graves.
Read this and weep.
After reading that link, it is tough to really
Celebrate Life.
Read this and weep.
After reading that link, it is tough to really
Celebrate Life.
The Costume Party
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party.
The Mrs. Got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished ,naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.
He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
"Did you dance much ?"
"I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."
The Mrs. Got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished ,naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.
He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
"Did you dance much ?"
"I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."
Why I Fired My Secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!” and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”
I thought…
Well, that’s marriage for you.
But the kids…they will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office my secretary, Jane, said “Good Morning Boss and by the way Happy Birthday!”
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o’clock when Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch just you and me?”
I said, “Thanks Jane. That’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”
We went to lunch, but we didn’t go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office Jane said, “You know it’s such a beautiful day…We don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we?”
I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?”
She said, “Let’s drop by my apartment. It’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, “Boss. If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”
“Ok.” I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and after a couple minutes she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…
followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers all singing “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” and
I just sat there….
on the couch…..
naked.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!” and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”
I thought…
Well, that’s marriage for you.
But the kids…they will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office my secretary, Jane, said “Good Morning Boss and by the way Happy Birthday!”
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o’clock when Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch just you and me?”
I said, “Thanks Jane. That’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”
We went to lunch, but we didn’t go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office Jane said, “You know it’s such a beautiful day…We don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we?”
I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?”
She said, “Let’s drop by my apartment. It’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, “Boss. If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”
“Ok.” I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and after a couple minutes she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…
followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers all singing “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” and
I just sat there….
on the couch…..
naked.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Since I Don't Have A TV
I don't get the chance to catch the evening network news. I guess this guy has all the time in the world to do so.
Well, looks like he doesn't have a TV either.
Well, looks like he doesn't have a TV either.
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